Breaking Down Insecurities

Hello, hi. It's Frankie here.

This week, I've been thinking about insecurities and just how much it can affect your mood, vibe and just general day to day.

I've been struggling with insecurities for a very long time and it's something I've started to become pretty vocal about. Especially when I began to realise, I wasn't alone in this toxic little space I imagine myself to be in. Insecurities pop up at the most random, inconvenient and trying point at life. They can manifest in the weirdest ways, ranging from something as simple as someone commenting on your outfit to something like you noticing you're gaining or losing weight. Often this realisation or comment sparks a downward spiral of where you start to doubt yourself and your looks; you start to think you're less than for whichever reason it is you do, and that puts you in a state of feeling insecure

For me, insecurities mean that I don't feel like a 11/10 and when you don't, the way you move through the world differs. You no longer travel with an air of confidence but rather with one of uncertainty and the constant need of assurance. I've realised that when I'm feeling insecure, it is at this point that I compare myself the most to others. Comparison is something I'm sure we all struggle with from time to time. It may be in its simplest forms where we compare our body shape to someone else, but like insecurities it can also be on a much larger scale where we compare our achievements and aspirations to that of someone else's.

For me, I compare myself a lot.

A lot y'all..

Mostly in appearance which is where the whole insecurities thing comes into play. Comparing the way we look is a big way that comparison can eat away at our joy, unfortunately that issue isn’t too easy to fix. We're always going to find someone we perceive to have better "assets" than our own and we're stuck in that little cycle unless we get to the root of the problem. Although people talk about having insecurities often nowadays, I still think there's a specific sub-area of insecurities that we don't talk about as much.

How they can affect that whole relationship thing.

I can raise my hand up and say I'm very insecure and trying to work around it but that does make forming relationships a bit of sticky situation.

It seems I'm constantly running from relationships for multiple excuses and various reasons but one of the biggest ones would most definitely be my insecurities. I'm still not in a place where me being aware of my own beauty is a consistent feeling. I feel like in order to be in a relationship, I need to be in a constant state (or close enough state) of appreciating my own beauty before anyone can come and make me feel beautiful. Am I alone in this mindset? Can anyone else relate? I'm not too sure how a person would heal if the one thing that was giving your beauty validation is no longer there, I aspire to get to a stage where I am the thing giving myself validation of my own beauty.

Nothing will be able to shake me after that.

As I bring this post to a close, I feel like I should be offering a solution to insecurities, but I think they're just a feeling that humans must deal with. What matters is how we process that feeling and how we work to rectify it.

That just sparked an idea! Would it be very cheeky if I set us a goal for this week?

Let's practice some self-affirmations! Let's give insecurities some fire, and work to crush that belief system.

When you wake up in the morning say something positive to yourself when you look in the mirror! It can be something simple like "your eyes are nice" or even something as deep as "your spirit is amazing". I'll be doing it too so let's roll with it.

Have a great week y'all.

With all my love,

Frankie





Jasmine N Cannon-Ikurusi