Making Peace with Your Insecurities

Raise your hand if you’ve got a few things about yourself you think you’d look better without if you could just change. Raise your hand if you and mirrors have a strained relationship. Raise your hand if your insecurities have had a hold on your life for a long time.

I raised my hand all three times.

It makes me so sad to know that many people (both men and women alike) would raise their hands too. We’re living in a generation where it sometimes seems like appearance matters more than inner substance and perfection is the aim. Sometimes it can feel like we’re all drowning under the desire to look better, and better, and better.

Have you ever thought about how damaging it is to constantly nit pick what you consider to be flaws when you could just accept them? Sure, the person that you are right now can see themselves being ‘better’ but there is more joy in making peace with your insecurities than you can ever imagine.

Making peace with your insecurities, however, requires the understanding that you are not perfect, nor can you ever achieve perfection. Once I came to that realisation, life began to get a little easier for me. I stopped trying so hard to look good for people who were also struggling to look good; an unfortunate cycle. I began to speak more positive words to myself; less “I look ugly without makeup” and more “you’re beautiful, made in God’s image”. I also began to look at my ‘flaw’s differently; there’s nothing wrong with having them because they make you look different, special even.

I understand that it’s not an easy process though because fighting off the bad thoughts you have about yourself takes a lot of time, sweat, tears and energy, in other words, it takes more time than it took for you to develop those thoughts to break them down. The joy and freedom you experience at the end is SO worth it though and I highly recommend it to you.

Your insecurities can either control you or you can control them. They can either break you or you can break them down and the strength that comes from fighting against those insecurities will carry you through the rest of your life.

Now imagine this scenario… You’ve woken up in the morning and are washing your face but as you look in the mirror, you don’t notice the scars that used to make you think you’re ugly. While scrolling through Instagram on your way to work, the models that are in shape only inspire you to get to the gym this evening rather than amplifying your own imperfections. You no longer look at your arms and think “if I could just change this little bit…” but rather appreciate that you have them. This scenario is more possible that you can imagine, you don’t have to change yourself to love yourself, you can do it on the spot.

Start by making the decision that your life isn’t meant to be lived for the approval of others and that your insecurities will never hold you back again. Then…make peace with your insecurities and live the free life you deserve.


Eseabasi Ntefon,

Social Media Intern

Jasmine N Cannon-Ikurusi