Beaten Down but not Discouraged

Beaten Down 

 

Sometimes I just want to disappear. Sometimes I just want to hide away in a place where I cannot hurt. Sometimes I want to turn back the hands of time. I lay here reminiscing of the days where ignorance was my lord and saviour. The days when my calendar was me, myself and I. There are days when the weights of life can be so overwhelming. There are nights when the pillows of destruction try to consume my mind. There are nights when sleep has been robbed by turmoils and calamities. I lie awake trying to strategise on how to keep this vision alive. The old folks wives told me, that the road ahead would not be easy. They said that this battle is not for the weak. They said that things will get better, but I find myself asking when would I get the opportunity to stand in the Sun? How long will the chosen be beaten down and stripped of all virtue? For how long will the weak things of this world mock the strong? For how long will they call greatness madness? For how long must we carry this this burden alone? 

 

Some days it feels like I’ve come face to face with victory but then all of a sudden, he slowly forgets my name. For how long will this war continue? For how long must I walk this scorching desert? What more must I sacrifice? What more must I give, before you know that I am for you; that I am with you; that I love you? How much blood must I donate before you see the remanence of my embrace? I have exchanged my DNA for your purpose? I no longer know how to walk the streets of humanity, because I have given you my body, soul and mind!

 

When will you see?

When will you touch the fragments of my soul?

For how long must I give before you make your move?

My King I wait.

My King I sing in honour of you.

My King I lay down my life for you.

 

When will you come home?

When will you stop hiding your face from me?

I have kept your fire burning in hopes that you return to me.

 

My King I hope you are reading this.

I hope you see my heart.

I hope you see my eyes as they burn for you.

 

My King when you are ready to stand and take your place; just know your throne awaits.

Jasmine N Cannon-Ikurusi