Makes No Sense

Sometimes they say let the bird fly and it will always come back home to you. I felt like I was suffocating you. I felt like every passing moment was a pinch to my soul. They say that when you let your bird go, you will truly know if it’s for you. The bird that is for you, will never abandon you but love on your flaws. That bird will know when your heart skips a beat. The 

bird will check in on you; why?, because it loves you. We need to stop holding onto birds that show us no interest. You become tied down to a cage that only knows confusion and delusion. Life is way too short to be entrapped by a bird that has a wandering eye. 

 

Hold on a minute. Why am I talking about birds? This story makes no sense. Come to think about it, the situational analysis that I am faced with makes no sense. Nothing about the way I feel for you, makes no sense. The way my heart beats for you, makes no sense. I cannot phantom the electrifying currents that flows through my veins. I cannot understand how I love someone I barely met. How can I dream of a future with someone, that barely speaks. For how long must I play the 21st century song, before my soul breaks? For how long must I play the tune of Stampley before you see?

 

I was told from a tender age that I have a wild imagination and if I do not tame her lion, that I would never be free. But the truth is, that her lion is the reason why I am me. Her lion is the reason why I can see. They said my imagination would be the fall of my dynasty but all I can see is a wall of possibilities. I see a world where leaders stand in the face of obscurity. I see nations rise in the waves of opportunities. I no longer fear the words of my childhood. I no longer fear the me that they said I should never be. 

 

I am lying here dreaming. I am lying here writing. I am lying here creating. I am lying here planning. I am lying here trying to make sense of how I could love someone so much but they do not know it. They cannot see it. I want to scream to the mountain tops but I fear that he would not understand the depth or breath of my love. I fear that if I speak, that I would be bestowed rejection. Hold on a minute, I have brought you into my game known as Truth. So this only works if I am being honest with you. Truth be told, that what scares me the most, is that if I say I love you, that you will say it back. How can a being so broken. A being so damaged be capable of love.

 

They say that we long for things that we cannot have but if we then get it, what do we do next?

 

My king if you are reading this, know that I will never be tired of you. I will never leave you. I will ride to the moon and back for you, because I am in love with you not for what you have but for the greatness I see in you. There is a fire in your eyes that will keep my hope alive.

 

So for now my king, I will wait. 

I will keep lighting the fireplace until you come home. 

 

Jasmine N Cannon-Ikurusi