Have you had one of those weeks where your whole life is an unending rollercoaster?
You know when you try your hardest to put your emotions in check but then everything just gets 10 million times worse? That was literally me this week. I thought I had come so far in my journey. I thought that the person we knew had long gone but little did I know that the person I thought I had overcome was still fighting on the surface. It's funny how that one person can push your buttons in all the wrong places. I tried and tried this week to ignore and be the bigger person but the more I tried, the worse everything seemed to get. My prayers every morning was simply please God let my emotions be under control. However the moment I faced that person, I was an emotional wreck. I realised this week that there is power in our mind. As we think it, so are we. I thought I was thinking good thoughts but little did I know that all I was incubated in defeat. My words and my actions did not match. I would say I would be different but yet my actions said something else. I realised that the power of choice dwells within us. We can count to 10 or we can go off like a cannon ball. I was the wind that floweth to and fro. I let my emotions dictate my sanity. I let my fear govern my words. I let my regrets reign in my actions. I went through a transition this week.
Trust me it is so hard. Sometimes you want to scream! Sometimes you want to let out all the pain within but we must think about the reparations of our actions. I reacted without thinking and that just left me in a pool of guilt and shame. I found myself reacting without putting thoughts to paper. It is so easy to let yourself go without thinking of the casualty. If life was created without thought, our world would have been under chaos and mayhem. So before we do something rash lets think about what the results would be. Life can be so hard sometimes. People can be so unkind with their words and their actions but that should not define your reaction. Let us choose our words right. Let us choose the appropriate actions. Let us not treat others like they treat us but better. Let us reflect hate with love. Let us eradicate the hatred and build a community where we love despite the outcomes. Let us build homes and not tear down generations. Words have power. Let us make the choice to do the right thing no matter how hard it feels.
So this week, my motto is to love even when you hate me.